H2Oh my God!

Well what is there to say about the last week other than it has been wet. We have had flash floods, rivers bursting their banks, road closures and general traffic chaos. On Wednesday it took me an hour and a half to travel about 4 miles, at the end of a long day it was not pleasing for me or all the other commuters trying to get home.

Ocean terminal.

For me, like many others I presume, the bad weather really does take it's toll on my mood and motivation. The Summer is the time when I like to recharge my batteries with plenty of outdoor activities and fresh air, I need this to survive the long dark nights of the Winter, but this year so far that has been so hard to do. Granted I was not well recently but today was the first dry day in weeks that I have been able to go out for a wee tour on Dolly. She has been so underused that her tyres had gone quite flat. I hope that does not happen with the real Dolly! It was great to get out, although I am kind of worried about my fitness levels, but will struggle on.

I think this is referring to Summer.

Fog and rain.

Hearts and flowers.

Forget me nots?

I eventually found some sunshine on Friday in Aberfoyle. It really was quite blinding to my unadjusted eyes, but sat out for my lunch and tried to absorb as much vitamin D as possible.

I found the sun.

Yesterday (Saturday) was still absolutely disgusting and rained for the whole day, so the only sensible thing to do was go for a bit of retail therapy. I found what I think will become my most loved pair of shoes. Always been a fan of them cowboys. Further cheering up was found in a bottle of wine and a good blether with my fabulous friend Hazel. Good times.

New shoes. Yee Haa.

Peace x

All photographs by Caroline Harvey.

Green and Maroon

Another week with not much to report. Lots of rain. Lots of miles. Lots of thoughts.

The one thing that has been talked about constantly is the Scottish Cup Final between Hearts and Hibs. The first apparently since 1896!

I am not really a huge fan of football or the overrated and overpaid players, but it has been hard to get away from the general buzz surrounding the game.

If I were to choose a team, I think I would choose Hearts just because my Grandad would have wanted them to win.

In homage to both teams the Jelly babies this week were going to have a wee 5 a-side game but sadly the pitch was too waterlogged so the game was abandoned.

Warehouse decoration.

Maroon and Green 5 a-side.

Peace x

All photographs by Caroline Harvey.

Heart Attack.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” 

Neil Gaiman

I like this quote because it is so true. At least for me it is. I always wear my heart on my sleeve and no matter how hard I try to protect it, it always gets damaged. Sometimes in a big way, sometimes in a small way. My ending was not even as simple as a "maybe we should just be friends". It was an ending without words and that in my opinion is worse.

I don't "hate" love.

 I "love" love. 

Love just seems to strongly disagree with me.

Peace.

Keeping busy.

I have managed to have a fairly productive day today, which is good because it stops or at least slows down the continual ache in my brain of things people have done or said, or not done and said, as the case may be. I have always found it incredibly difficult to stop this self inflicted mental torture from happening. I can not just let things go. I always hope that other people will be like me and want satisfactory answers and conclusions, especially when it comes to relationships, but they just never seem to. I don't know if this a difference between men and women or wether it is just me, but it drives me insane. I always want answers and I never ever get them. The art of oral communication seems to be lost on some people.

Anyway, moving on. I have eventually had some prints done of my big climbing trip and popped out to Ikea this morning to get some frames. I am quite pleased with the results especially my jaggy heart shaped cactus which I took in the amazing Hueco Tanks National Park, Texas. Seeing it on display in my hall every day will hopefully help bring back lots of great memories of fantastic climbing and fabulous people.

I had quite a good session of climbing down at the wall tonight, although for some reason my legs were really shakey for no good reason which was a bit off putting. I think it may be a result of my fairly alcoholic weekend. However I managed to haul myself up a few lines which were quite satisfying. I have been unmotivated for climbing these last few months, which in itself is upsetting as it is one the few things in my life that I really love to do. I know where the lack of motivation is coming from, for the most part, and am desperately trying to turn this around. I would hate to fall out of love with climbing as it has been a great companion and helped me through many troubled times. Yet you can't force these things, like any good relationship you have to give respect and care in order for it to be healthy and worthwhile. 

Happy moment of the day, being given a box of homemade gluten free mince pies by the lovely Nick. Very delicious. xx