The 'C' word.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not a huge fan of Christmas. I think I used to like them when I was a child, but I don't really recall. Although, I have seen the evidence of photographs and I looked happy enough. Where the dislike has manifest itself from I am not certain, but I have to say it is getting stronger as I get older.

I hate to sound like a grumpy old woman, which obviously I am, but it is just all too much. The expectation to have warm and fuzzy family moments filled with fun and excitement and spending extravagant amounts of cash is almost too much to take.

 Is it ok just to have a quite time and relax?

It certainly doesn't feel like it the way people dash around buying gifts and food etc, by the time the 25th comes most people are dead on their feet.

Don't get me wrong I like giving gifts to my friends and family and I would be a liar if I said I did not like receiving them too, but I try for the most part to give gifts that are possibly more meaningful or personal rather than expensive. Yes, partly because money is tight, but mostly because I hope they will like what I give them for more than just a day.

Anyway I will not become a wingebag and will keep my Bah Humbugness to myself. I know I will have a pleasant day with my folks and be spoilt with good food and wine, but it will be fuss free and relaxing, like any good day off should be.

Below is the sum total of the decorations in my house. Easy to install and tasty.

Peace x

Cone.

 I like cones.

All photos by Caroline Harvey.

Heart Attack.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” 

Neil Gaiman

I like this quote because it is so true. At least for me it is. I always wear my heart on my sleeve and no matter how hard I try to protect it, it always gets damaged. Sometimes in a big way, sometimes in a small way. My ending was not even as simple as a "maybe we should just be friends". It was an ending without words and that in my opinion is worse.

I don't "hate" love.

 I "love" love. 

Love just seems to strongly disagree with me.

Peace.

Therapy.

I have always used exercise as a form of therapy, and this morning was a very beautiful and snowy therapy session over the Pentlands. I have not been able to run for a long time due to various aches and pains that seemed impossible to shift, but I have been seeing a fabulous osteopath who is slowly working her magic and making me feel whole again. So it felt absolutely amazing to be heading out with Beth this morning for one of our favourite routes.

A great way to start the day, 9 miles of pretty scenery and sky.