Wednesday, 21 March 2012

A little bit of a rant.

I have recently signed back up to a dating site. I tried this last year and the relationship did not end well, but despite this I thought I would try again. It is not my ideal way of looking for love, so to speak, but I find it really difficult to meet new people. I don't particularly want to start new hobbies, go to evening classes or as many people have suggested take up salsa lessons. I am not inclined to go to bars and clubs on my own, so what do you do?

However, I am finding the whole thing quite distressing this time around. I have been on a couple of dates and I have met some genuinely nice people, they just sadly weren't for me, but I am beginning to wonder if internet dating is actually just the modern version of kerb crawling.

I understand that people may view my profile and think "OMG no way!" after all it is really a very intensified version of what we do every day in real life. We check people out in our heads and make assumptions about who they are based on how they look and dress. With internet dating this is what you do in the comfort of your own living room. We check people out and dismiss or not, purely on the information they give you and a few photos. For all I know I could be rejecting the best guy out there just because he has put on a dodgy photograph or tells me he enjoys the theatre!

I feel like I am on an emotional roller-coaster half the time. I get excited when I chat to people and they seem nice and even more excited if I actually get to meet them in person. Then there is the let down if things don't go well. I feel bad when people 'wink' at me and I don't really feel the love back, because I know how I feel when there is no response to a 'wink' or email. I feel I want to write back and apologies and tell them that they are probably a very nice person but I do not think they are suitable for me. What is the etiquette for internet dating, because I don't really know?

If you want to try and get your monies worth and meet as many people as possible, I think you would have to make dating a full time job and do nothing but sift through hundreds of profiles a day. Not very romantic really. I have been told the old adage many times "if you stop looking it will be right there in front of you" or "love will find you", but frankly as optimistic as I am, I am not sure I believe that. So until then I will persevere, but I don't hold out much hope.

My conclusions about the whole thing at the moment are;
Men of my age prefer younger woman
Younger men like the thought but not the reality of an older woman.
Older men like young woman.
I like men of my age or younger.
There should really be a website called Playersd*ckheads&w*nkers.com, so as to leave room for the people who are genuinely looking to be matched.


I have posted this photo before but feel that it is appropriate for this particular rant.

Rant over. 
If you read this and feel like you would like to go on a date, get in touch, at least it would be cheaper.

Peace x

All photographs by Caroline Harvey.

5 comments:

Hazel said...

What a brill rant! I loved it. I genuinely do not know how you have not been snapped up by now. I think you're doing all the right things. It won't be long, I can feel it in my water!! At least you're not a large lady on a dating website...now that really is a ruthless game!
Mwuh X

Caroline Harvey said...

Cheers Haze, I felt better after my rant. It seems to be a pretty ruthless game no matter who you are.
xxxx

NickS said...

A rant from the heart.

I'd give you my best advice about lurv but as someone said "Only one thing worse than giving advice on love, and that's giving gratuitous, unsolicited advice." I'm fairly sure someone said it.

Keep playing.
xx

Beth said...

You've just got to hang in there - maybe your Prince is hiding in one of those castles you are discovering on your travels! X

alpinedreamer said...

I know many people who just gave up looking completely and BAM! It's tough all ways but the happier you are the better. So do whatever makes you happiest. Whatever that is. Remember, the more you look at that massive pothole the more likely you are to ride right through it and break your wheel! Hmm not sure that analogy works!
XX